Game of Worsts
by Uniasus
Summary: They liked to play a game of who had the worst childhood, but Cross usually trumped that. So they switched instead to who had the worst mission


**Note:** This takes place in some place in the time line I'm not really sure. Meant to be before Allen looses his arm, but then it also includes guest appearances of Tiedoll and Marie who I don't actually think Allen bet before Japan (no Internet so I can't check). So, let's assume Allen's met them in passing before, kay?

Game of Worsts

_By Uniasus_

They used to play a black humor game of sorts, who had the worst childhood. Lavi would bring up the difficulties of traveling with Bookman, Lenalee and Kanda mentioned similar tales based on growing up in the Order and fighting from a young age. But usually Allen would just bring up having Cross as a Master, Lavi would shiver, and just like that he'd win.

Allen never told the real horrors of his past, of life before Mana. He had a similar feeling that the others held back too.

It didn't really matter, Cross was a trump card that in a game that hardly changed and so their game morphed to who had the worst last mission.

"My finder is having her moon's blood," Lavi offered the next time they were all together, "She so moody all the time and I can't keep her happy!"

Lenalee smacked him and he chocked on the sip he just took. "She's sitting across the room. Well, I had to deal with Brother calling every three hours. I'm recovered enough to travel! The akuma didn't get me that bad." She rolled her eyes.

They weren't actually at the Order, not yet. It was coincidence they all met on the docks in France where ferry that went across the Channel to England put in berth. General Tiedoll and Marie had come in on the ferry, on their way to missions while Lenalee, Lavi, and Allen were waiting for the ferry to fuel up. With two hours until the next the boat, they all decided to catch up over a hot meal.

"Be careful when you return Lenalee. Your brother had a whole selection of healing potions he created on his desk when he briefed me," Marie said.

She groaned. "Your turn though, worst recent mission?"

"Monkeys." Marie crossed his arms. "One stole my headphones."

Allen burst out laughing. "Oh man, how'd you get them back? They move fast."

Marie blushed in embarrassment. "The finder lured with a banana, and then placed it on my head. The evil thing dropped my headphones and scampered up my back for the fruit, but slipped through my fingers before I could catch it. It chewed on them and everything." He pointed teeth marks out on the band above his right ear.

"I'm actually upset I missed that." Kanda plopped down in the only free seat, Allen's other side. He would have avoided sitting so close to Tiedoll and Lavi if he had the option, Allen was certain.

As it was, Lavi reached across the table with a cry of 'Yu-chan!' and Tiedoll reached around behind Allen's back to attempt to hug Kanga while saying 'My son!'. Kanda shoved Lavi back with his mug and pushed Allen into Tiedoll.

"Hey!" he said, upset at the rough treatment.

"Why, it's a beansprout!"

Allen went to punch him, but Tiedoll held him back.

"Okay Kanda," Lenalee said, "Worst thing on your mission?"

He pointed over his shoulder to the front of the inn. "You see that mule?"

They all turned to look. It was a miserable creature, blind in one eye and very hairy in the ears. "It's followed me ever since I crossed the Germany-France border."

Everyone hooted. "I bet your long hair made it think of it's mother's tail," Allen said.

Kanda growled and made to unsheathe Mugen, but the arrival of the innkeeper's daughter with plates of food all around stopped him.

"I bet mine worse than yours," Kanda challenged Allen.

"Yup. My issue was that this hawk decided to adopt Tim. Kept him in the nest by sitting on him."

Lavi snorted. "Really?"

"He got a video of the bird settling down on top of him, if you want to see."

"No, I'm good, I'm good."

The church bells rang the half hour, and the four who needed to catch the ferry stood up. "Have good missions, General, Marie," Lenalee wished them.

"And happy sailing," Tiedoll returned.

As they made their way to the docks, the mule did indeed follow Kanda, muzzle almost in the small of his back the entire way.

"I think you should bring him to the Order," Allen suggested.

"I'd rather cut it's head off."

When they got to the docks, one of the shiphands chased the mule away. It trotted down the gangplank and stood on the pier, braying as they left.

"There goes you're only friend Kanda."

"Shut up, beansprout."

When they pulled up on the shores of London, it was amidst a nasty spring storm. It took three tries to get the ropes tied properly enough to dock the boat and they were all drenched through their coats by the time they stepped off of the ferry.

Lenalee called one of the finders at the Order. "This is exorcist Lenalee Lee, myself and Allen Walker, Lavi Bookman, and Yu Kanda just arrived in London, please send down the tower elevator."

"Ah, sorry miss exorcist," static filled the line and Lenalee's golem was having a hard time bobbing in front of her in the wind, "there was a run in with one of your brother's creations. The elevator isn't working, and the canal has been blocked by rocks. Right now the only way to the tower is to climb."

"We can do that," Allen offered.

"Not in this rain and wind," Lavi said.

Lenalee ignored them both. "Thank you for telling me, we'll find an inn in town." The connection severed before she got a confirmation.

"I know inns in London, but they're all...rather shady." Allen said, "Any of you guys know one?"

"Um...no actually. I've always gone up to Headquarters." Lavi shrugged and Lenalee nodded in agreement.

Kanda sighed. "Let's go find one," and led the way.

Trusting Kanda, Allen huddled in his exorcist coat, arms across his chest and hood up as he followed. He missed his gloves, they hadn't survived his fight with akuma in Ukranie, for they were waterproof and lined. Much better than his armpits. His fingers were freezing! Allen opened and closed his hands, watching water collect between the wrinkles of his red hand, as he tried to keep them cramping. Tim pressed into the side of his neck more tightly, seeking warmth, it was too windy for him to fly.

They'd been walking around for a long time, Allen realized as he felt a chill seep under his skin.

He looked up from Lavi's boots. "Have you found one yet? Oh."

They were totally in the wrong part of London. This was where he used to hang as a child, and it was not a place to return to.

"We should turn back."

"But look! Circus tents! The rain's letting up, let's go see if they have a bearded lady."

"I'm pretty sure they don't. Let's go."

But Lenalee was already dancing forward, Kanda a few steps behind.

Lavi stood next to him. "You know this place."

"This is where all the traveling circuses come to. I've been here a few time. But Lavi, I know that logo. This is _my_ circus, and my time here weren't happy."

Lavi gave him a once over. "It was years ago, I'm sure things have changed. Plus, I doubt they'd even recognize you now."

Allen clenched his left hand. He really wanted his gloves. "Maybe."

"Come on, if we go we can encourage Lenalee to be quick."

There was no big tent show that day, but for a small fee they could see the animals and human attractions. Allen was sad to see that all the horses he remembered had passed away, but Lucy the boa constrictor was still there and somewhere they found a bear. When he was with them, acts mainly were those for the big tent, juggling shows and brave feats. Human attractions were new. There was no bearded lady, but there was a lizard man, a three hundred pound woman, and what the circus was passing as big foot – a rather tall, black, hairy man who only grunted.

It was getting dark now, and Allen was quick to leave. He skipped the mermaid and stood outside the attraction tent, shivering. The rain may have stopped, but his clothes never dried and he was positive he was coming down with a cold.

He didn't pay attention to the people around him until someone grabbed his left arm and pushed back his hood.

"Red?"

He didn't answer, but the clown pushed up his left sleeve to further expose his hand. Allen might have grown, acquired white hair and a curse, but his arm never changed and gave him away.

"Though it was you."

"Hello Cosmo. I have to admit, I'm surprised you're still alive. You were always fond of doing acts without a net."

Cosmo slapped him hard across the face and Allen was thrown back to childhood. Cosmo had hit him so many times when he was younger, was the first to ever break his ribs. Or his collar bone.

When the stars left his eyes Allen found himself being dragged into the ring leader's tent.

"Look who I found outside the freaks," Cosmo threw Allen forward and he collided with a thicken oaken table. The breath left his lungs and he collapsed onto the floor. As he tried to gulp in air the ring leader lowered himself next to him.

"Why if it isn't little Red. Where's Mana?"

"'E an't 'ere!" Allen said and spit in the face above him. God, being around these people made him feel young. Even his accent was back.

There was a boot in his side, and then his gut.

"Dead I 'pose," Cosmo was saying.

"Is that it, come back looking for a job? You'd be perfect for our new freak show."

"Ay 'ave one, you bloody wanker."

The ring leader smacked him across the face, but nothing as hard as Cosmo's blow earlier. "What's this on your coat, a cross? You work for the Church now? I bet Mana didn't want you any more and abandoned you at the door step. Well, if there's one less boy lighting candles no one well notice." He slammed Allen's head against a table leg and he felt blood start to drip down his face.

"I would."

Lavi was in the tent flap, Lenalee and Kanda behind them with Tim flapping above them all. The golem zipped towards him and started to flutter nervously around his face.

"Aym fine."

The exorcists all seemed to look oddly at him, but he paid them no attention. He stood up, leaning against the table. Lenalee came to help him, but as she passed Cosmo he smacked her rear. "You leeve 'er alone!" Allen shouted, but Lenalee had already taken care of him with her Innocence and Kanda had Mugen at the ring leader's throat.

Lavi came to help him instead, he was a bit unsteady on his feet and wondered if he was concussed. Wouldn't that be funny.

The red head lead him out of the tent, Lenalee and Kanda falling behind them.

The ring leader called from inside. "I'm gonna let Jameson know you're in town Red, all holy like. He's gotten a taste for holy lately."

Allen whirled around and wobbled, Lavi the only thing keeping him from falling.

"You tell 'im I'm gonna cut it ouf, the pig wanker."

He was still cursing as Lavi led him off the fair grounds, not stopping until he was pushed down on a barrel.

"Allen, snap out of it." Lavi lightly shook his shoulder.

"Lahvi, uh Lavi. I, oh, _oh,_ I'm sorry, I,"

"What in the world just happened?" Kanda snarled.

"I, uh, used to work there."

"Really."

"Not much other choice for children here. It's stealing, or maybe odd jobs, or...but the circus was steady. I had something in my stomach every night."

"And the accent?" Lenalee asked.

Allen blushed. "It's local, from a different part of London though. A lot of the poor folk in the city sound similar. After we left, Mana told me it wasn't proper for a young man to swear and not mind his vowels."

"Wish Kanda could've meet him." Lavi jerked his thumb back at the raven haired teen. Kanda shot him the bird. "Fuck off."

Allen pushed away Lavi's hand from his cut. "Anyway, the sun's almost down and we really shouldn't be in this part of town. Kanda I can't believe you couldn't find a single inn on our way."

"None of them looked comfortable," he grumbled.

"I can guarantee most of the ones around here won't be, and beds are usually sold by the hour, not the night. Let's go." He stood up, swaying, but on his own feet.

"Who's Jameson?" Lenalee asked as they went along.

Allen winced. "Not a nice person. He takes what he wants, when he wants it. Roughly."

"And tonight it's you."

Allen spun to face Jameson. They were roughly ten years apart, and Jameson had always outclassed Allen in size. Now twenty-five, he was bigger than before, and judging by his arms it was all muscle.

"I just thinking, I wonder w'ere Red is, and 'ere you are." He spread his arms out and walked forward.

Allen stepped back behind Lavi.

"Miss me?"

"No."

"I can see why." He pointed at Kanda and Lavi, both primed to fight. "Look at your fellow church boys, not bad. Do you visit them at night like you visited me?"

Lenalee turned to look at him in horror and Allen felt himself turning red in embarrassment. Really, he never wanted to reveal anything worse than his time with Cross

"No," Allen ground out. "And I never _visited_ you, you always _took_ me. From the tent, while I running errands."

"Difference in words. Got you as a present some nights too. But I'm expecting a visit tonight. You wouldn't want on of your fellow church friends to do so instead."

"No one is _visiting_ anyone," Mugen rang as Kanda pulled the sword out.

"Look at that, this one already knows how to handle swords."

All of a sudden there ten men around them. One pulled back on Allen's shoulder, he sent his elbow back into the mans face. Kanda and Lavi were using their uninvoked Innocences, while Lenalee was showing Dark Bookts in all their glory. But he couldn't bring himself to transform his arm. It was an anti-akuma weapon, not something for alley brawls.

But his arm had always had tremendous strength. Jameson used to have to chain it to something.

He dropped low unto a coffee grind to swept the legs out from someone he didn't recoginze and then punched his gut as he fell. Allen was an exorcist and surrounded by friends. He wasn't easy prey anymore.

It was sad how quickly the four exorcists won. Allen watched Lenalee kick Jameson in the groin for a third time. He had such good friends.

"We're leaving." Kanda announced, stalking down the alley.

"If you want to leave this part of town, take a left at the street."

Kanda did so and kept walking straight. He paused at several inns, but Allen shook his head no until the fifth one. "We crossed the Lamb Quay, this one isn't a brothel." It was dark, he was sneezing, and he really wanted to put his head down. Cosmo had definitely given him a concussion, he head had swarmed while they fought.

"What do you think, worst childhood?" he asked as they climbed the stairs to their rooms.

Kanda frowned. "I killed my best friend."

"Before or after he was an akuma? Mine was after." Lave and Lenalee were looking at him and Kanda in disbelief, but Allen shrugged it off. He might win this version of the game too.

"Before."

"I...I was kept chained to a bed for year because I kept trying to escape the Order, and I watched some of Leviller's experiments."

They all paused at the top of the stairs and turned to Lavi to hear his piece. "I witnessed five wars, up close and in their bloody glory, before I was eight."

"Tie then." Allen made for his room.

**A/N: **While Allen declares the game a tie, I simply have a hard time making Lavi's and Lenalee's histories as angsty. Sure, I can make Lavi's present pretty bad, but compared to Allen and Kanda I don't think he's had that rough of a life. Nor Lenalee. Just me though.

So, quick little one-shot written as a bit of a come down from my writer's binge on A Flight with Wings. It's best not to go cold turkey I find.


End file.
